Suburban Sasquatch (2004)

I can honestly say the quality of this cover art is better than the whole film.

I usually review good movies here on my blog but lately I saw gem so horrible it deserves to be as beloved as other horrible films like The Room, Birdemic or Troll 2. This is basically people fooling around with a camcorder with spectacularly horrible results. Every possible error you could ever have in a film is present in this. And every time you think something clever might happen in this film it shatters all hopes and expectations. The movie is about Big Foot causing a ruckus in suburbia. The plot is so poorly constructed though that stuff just sort of happens and there is no real flow to this movie, most of the characters don't even have names. The Sasquatch costume is very clearly a cheap Halloween costume, and all other props were very clearly bought from a Halloween store as well (severed limbs and whatnot). Pretty much whenever there isn't a bat-shit insane sasquatch attack happening there is horrible boring dialogue that makes no sense that sounds like the stupid crap people think sounds super intelligent when they're stoned out of their minds. There are some fantastic lines in this film though like a child's mother trying to reassure him that bigfoot isn't real: "He's not real timmy that's why he's never around, like the Boogeyman or your father." Also the sasquatch somehow has supernatural powers and can teleport anywhere (and apparently he can grow taller for some reason?). The hilariousness of how horrible this film is cannot be underestimated: during driving sequences character very clearly drive around in circles, in certain scenes they reuse the same shot five times, there is a fabulous attack scene 

"I don't believe, I sell!"
actual line from this man.

where the sasquatch attacks a stopped car  and during the scene the editor mixes shots of both the car moving and stopped, the sasquatch's growl sounds like an upset stomach, there are many scenes of the sasquatch goofily flailing his arms around, the "cave" where the sasquatch lives is very clearly someone's garage or basement with a black garbage bag draped on the wall, and the film's racist stereotype of a Native American woman who is supposed to be a mystical archery expert hits the sasquatch fifty times  

throughout the film (sometimes with Nerf arrows, sometimes with horrible CG arrows) and they never have any affect. Also this movie has continuity and editing errors up the wazoo, most of the time you can tell they just used the camera's external microphone. The movie also has atrocious CG effects. The police officers have worse costumes than the cops in Scooby Doo, and most of the time they never drive a cop car, not to mention they talk directly into a fax machine because somehow the makers of this piece of shit couldn't even afford a damn Walkie Talkie! Not to mention the Newspaper office and the Police Office are very clearly shot inside of an elementary school building. The movie does have some amazing death scenes though. There is one scene where the yeti rips out a man's own intestines and feeds them to him!  This is the perfect movie to rip apart and do commentary on with a group of friends. The worst kind of movie is one that is so horrible that there is nothing entertaining or enjoyable about it what so ever, and there are a lot of movies that fall into that category that actually have decent production values and actually follow the rules of cinema 101 very well. There are also movies that are designed to intentionally be horrible. And then there is the best kind of horrible movie, the one that is so bad it is unintentionally hilarious like the play "Springtime for Hitler" from The Producers. Suburban sasquatch falls into the latter category and for that reason it cannot be judged or evaluated in the same sense that one uses for "good" movies. Therefore as a "So-bad-it's-good" movie I give Suburban Sasquatch a 5/5, but in a traditional sense I give it a -9001/5. Here is a video review and some clips of the movie's best moments.

They look more like UPS men than Cops.

Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)

I finally decided to see this one, after years of hearing about it. For those who don't know this film has claimed the title of "worst film ever made" for the last 50+ years. While I personally don't think this is the worst film ever made (or that I've ever seen) it is pretty dang bad. This is the film that would make Ed Wood a star (albeit ironically). Ed Wood made a number of horrible B films throughout the 50s but this is his most famous/infamous. Less than 20 years after his death he would be immortalized in a critically acclaimed film made by Tim Burton, but during his lifetime Ed Wood would never see such positive acceptance of his work. Plan 9 is about aliens that come to earth and plan on taking over the world by raising the dead (don't worry if that doesn't make sense, Ed Wood never makes sense). The film has so many errors that it, Ed Wood, and his other films have all become ironically inspirational, people see his films and think "If somebody can make a piece of crap like that there's hope for me in the film business!" There are continuity errors up the wazoo, wooden acting, horrible sets and lighting (most notably in the airplane scenes) and Cadillac hubcaps on wires posing as flying saucers. The film has one of the biggest cult followings of all time for any film though. The entire genre of "so bad they're good" movies was basically created because of this film, it is still enjoyable to watch and laugh at because of how amazingly bad it is. There are a few things that should be mentioned about the film for those who don't know anything about it: 1). this was Bela Lugosi (the legendary horror actor most famous for playing Dracula [1931])'s last film. Lugosi was one of Wood's heroes growing up and he managed to meet and form a unique friendship with the man, and give him the last few roles of his career. Lugosi died only managed to film about 15 minutes of footage (or less) before he died leaving Wood to find a replacement for him for the rest of the film. His replacement ended up being a 

dead ringer for Lugosi... from the eyes up that is, Wood forced the replacement to walk around the set covering his face with his cape (like classic Dracula) so only his eyes nose and above were exposed. 2). Vampira, a 1950s horror TV host who would introduce B horror movies late at night, (the original Elvira, also think SvenGhouli) makes her most famous film appearance in this film. In my opinion the best scenes of the movie are when Vampira and Tor Johnson ( a 400 pound Swedish professional wrestler with very limited acting ability) are walking through the graveyard together. Both Johnson and Vampira are unusual characters in personality and lifestyle and they are even more unusual in their appearance, seeming practically otherworldly (Vampira pretty much invented the "vamp" look for women, and she had an unusually small waist). 3). Lastly Ed Wood was a master at collecting and using stock footage. Basically anything you see of unusually high quality compared to the rest of the movie is stock footage, which as I mentioned before could 

stand out like a sore thumb, but in other incidents he was extremely creative with it and you wouldn't necessarily know it was stock footage. The worst part of the film however is the last quarter or third of the movie, when the plot just kind of goes out the window, and the dialogue becomes so verbose and lengthy that it's incredibly hard to understand what is going on, and thus it drags and people (like myself and a friend) can tend to dose off at that point. Obviously I have to give the film a very low rating for quality ( I won't even mention how low) but as for pure enjoyment and campy entertainment value, I give it a 3.75/5. The movie is enormously influential, and if you enjoyed it I recommend The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, it's a 2001 film that spoofs 1950s B movies like Plan 9, and it is available to stream on Netflix. You can view the trailer below:

Humanoids from the Deep (1980) original

Roger Corman's Humanoids From the Deep (1980) I've never before seen a movie of Roger Corman's (the king of the B-movie) that I would truly consider a B-movie quality wise, but this certainly fits the bill. The movie was very controversial at the time because of how Feminists thought the women were being portrayed in the sense that only the men died and the beasts went after the women to mate with them, so there was an argument that there was racist undertones to in the sense of the age old fear of "they're going to take our women!", but Corman and the writers insist they were just reading too much into it and it was a straight up monster movie, also the movie was directed by a woman. The acting and writing are pretty bad at times, some hilarity is caused by that though at times. The monsters were designed by a guy who went on to win awards and do special effects for The Fog, The Thing and Se7en, as well as having it's music composed by future Oscar winner and composer of the music for Titanic (1997) James Horner. The movie would eventually be remade in 96. The original is hard to find but is now on instant streaming on Netflix. I give it a 3.5/5. This movie is also featured in Rue Morgue magazine's book 200 Alternative Horror Films You Need to See, the book also includes an interview with Roger Corman about this film. You can view the trailer below, warning it is NSFW (not suitable for work):

The Toxic Avenger (1984)

The Toxic Avenger (1984) the king of 80s stereotyped, cult and so awful they're amazing movies. The Toxic Avenger is the movie that launched the creation of indie/cult movie company Troma Studios, an extremely successful movie franchise with 3 sequels a children's cartoon series (similar to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) and a confirmed upcoming remake starring Arnold Schwarzenegger!, and the career of its creator and head of Troma studios, Lloyd Kaufman. Idk if this movie was made to be horrible and have people overact on PURPOSE, but it is almost inconceivable that the quality of this film could be so low without making it that way on purpose. At first glance it would look like a movie you and a group of friends could easily make with your own camera, heck with the quality of phone cameras you could probably make a BETTER looking film with your phone, but where this movie does spend it's money is on it's incredibly over the top gory death scenes. How this movie (easily one of the most gory movies I've ever seen and ever made. The violent aspects of the film, and the relationship some of the characters have with violence are seriously messed up) got a successful children's TV cartoon is beyond me. Also I'm not a fan of gore so IMO what makes this movie great is it's references and tributes it makes to Frankenstein, Young Frankenstein, The Three Stooges, Abbot & Costello, A Clockwork Orange, and Dr. Strangelove, and it's general over the topness in every way possible that makes it HILARIOUS, It also has the most stereotypes I've ever seen in one movie it I'm assuming that's part of the humor (but who knows?  ). The mexican restaurant is called "The Mexican Place" and they have samurai swords on the walls and a pizza oven in the kitchen lol. This movie is also so 80s it hurts, with random people dancing for no reason in most of its scenes, and MULTIPLE 80s montages. The film also has MILLIONS of noticeable errors (jump cuts continuity errors, over exposed lighting, bad lip dubbing, etc.) but they add to the fun of it, even though the quality is damn awful, this is seriously the most fun I've had watching a movie in a LONG long time, it's not hard to understand why this became as successful as it did (it's also referenced in TONS of movies and TV shows). So note I give this one a 5/5 not for quality by any means, but just because of how enjoyable/fun it is. 
P.S. the movie's available on instant on Netflix.